The Anvil | Issue #083025

When Rock Bottom Becomes Your Foundation

What a wonderful Saturday Morning! Hope you are all doing well.

I promised you a story that isn't pretty at the beginning.

But here it goes:

Just over a year ago, I sat in my car outside our apartment at 2 AM, staring at the bank account balance on my phone, trying to see if we had enough money to cover our rent payment that was coming due in a few days. My phone service had been shut off for non-payment due to a recent mishap with my business partner (that's a long story for another day), so I was solely relying on catching the free wifi signal outside the apartment clubhouse to communicate. My credit cards were already maxed out, and my credit score had tanked, leaving me with not a lot of options to create breathing room for us (me, my wife, and our two cats). It had been us plus our pup a month earlier; however, Lessi passed away unexpectedly recently.) We were Crushed. My relationship was suffocating, and I was struggling as a man because I'd made promise after promise that I couldn't keep.  Not for a lack of effort…I felt broken.

But the worst part wasn't the money.

The worst part was looking in the rearview mirror and seeing a man I didn't recognize. Someone who had become really good at big talks and grand plans, but couldn't follow through when it came to results.  I could blame it on the world, on the people around me, and  I'd tell my friends and family a version of the story that made it seem as if it was outside of my control. I'd promise my wife a date night, then work late chasing another opportunity. I'd commit to getting in shape, then quit after a couple of weeks when the scale didn't move fast enough.  I even started drinking and smoking again…picking up those old vices of the younger, carefree & foolish version of me.

I was living like a dreamer, not a builder.

That night in the car, counting virtual quarters on my bank app like some kind of broken slot machine, something clicked. Or maybe something broke. Either way, I knew I couldn't keep living as the man who talked about transformation while living in chaos.

The next morning, I got up early, started reading the bible.

Not the entire thing, just one small verse. No grand gesture. No dramatic life overhaul. I just made the decision to find myself again…and this first act took maybe ninety seconds. But it began a journey of monumental transformation. (keyword here ‘began’)

Now keep in mind, this was a MASSIVE step for me… somewhere up to this point I had put my faith aside…in a sense, ‘gave up speaking to god’ or believing he could help.

My wife probably didn't even notice right away. My friends certainly didn't care. But I knew something had shifted. For the first time in months, maybe years, I had started my day each morning by committing to myself.. Something small, something that mattered to no one but me, but something finished and something I could be proud of.

As we spoke about yesterday…That was my 1%.

Week one: read a bible verse…. Week two: read a bible verse and drink some coffee in peace while reflecting…Week three: read a verse, reflect, and document my thoughts…. Month two: add five minutes of prayer, and so on…

Did it fix my situation or give me success? Not even close. Did anyone applaud? Absolutely not.

But here's what happened: slowly, almost imperceptibly, I started becoming someone who kept his word, and someone who knew what being authentic, genuine, and truthful was… First to myself, then to others. 

The man who could be trusted to refuse to fall, and climb higher no matter what… became the man who could be trusted to show up for his family and friends. The man who could commit to workouts became the man who could commit to hard conversations with his wife. The man who could read one verse consistently became the man who could lean on faith when everything felt uncertain.

The external changes followed the internal ones. The business opportunities that had been slipping through my fingers started sticking because people could sense something different. The marriage that was on life support started breathing again because I was becoming someone worth trusting.

The relationship with my friends shifted because they had a relationship of value, someone who showed up, not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, completely.

But I want to be brutally honest with you about something: the mirror doesn't lie, and it doesn't care about your excuses.

There are still days I want to skip my commitments. Days I am too tired for the workout. Weeks, I feel foolish reading one verse while my life still felt chaotic and in utter shambles.  And in some ways, still is…this journey is long…and testing.

The voice in my head is still relentless: "This isn't working fast enough. This is too small. You need to think bigger."

That voice keeps testing me, yanking me off course, and several times, almost winning.

I REFUSE to collapse, I REFUSE to give up…and I absolutely REFUSE to blame my problems on anyone but myself.   I got myself here,  and I WILL reclaim every inch that was lost.

Here's what I learned in those moments of doubt: the mirror reflects back exactly who you are, not who you want to be or who you used to be. And every small choice you make is a vote for the person you're becoming.

The ratio of what we say vs what we do will define our identity to its core.  Someone who is honest and truthful, or someone full of lies and regret.

Do what you said, regardless of ‘feelings’? That's a vote for discipline. Skip it? That's a vote for chaos. Read one verse? That's a vote for faith. Skip it? That's a vote for self-reliance.

The person staring back at you in the mirror tomorrow will be the sum total of the votes you cast each and every day.

Only a year later, I'm not the same man who sat shamefully in that parking lot. Not because I had some dramatic breakthrough or caught a lucky break, but because I learned to honor the foundation. I learned that giants really are built on grains of sand, one tiny choice at a time. Sand compressed into bedrock by constant repetition and commitment.

I'm still far from perfect, far from the version of me that is meant to become.  And I'm sure if we had an honest conversation in the public eye, many would still judge me, and cast their stones, telling me that I don’t amount to much.  But… this journey isn't for them…it’s for me, and every small progression forward, uncovering my truest self, is a journey that I can be proud of. 

Your story might be different from mine. Maybe your rock bottom looks different. Maybe your ‘quarters’ are something else entirely—broken relationships, lost health, spiritual emptiness, or just the gnawing feeling that you're capable of so much more than you're living.

But here's what I know to be true: the mirror is waiting for you to decide who you're going to become. And that decision isn't made in some grand moment of inspiration. It's made in the small, quiet moments when no one's watching and nobody cares.

Stay tuned for the next issue, I'm going to share something more that helped me turn those small votes into noticeable momentum. It's not what you think, and it's probably simpler than you expect.

Your Spiritual Blacksmith,

Myriac | The Undeniable Man™

P.S. - This journey is so much more than trying to teach people how to live life and what they should do to be proud of themselves. I am still looking for the highest version of myself, and sharing my story is part of my own reflection. And if I could be so lucky in life for a written occurrence to resonate and impact someone else in the world and help them take their steps forward, that would truly be something to be proud of.

Thank you again for reading, and please feel free to send me your thoughts. And if you found this passage inspiring, please send it to someone you know who may need a little extra help finding their way.   Stay blessed.  ~Matthew Cairy

Please visit myriac.com to get a free pre-release of chapters 1-4 of my ‘fictional biography’ - The Undeniable Man™, my free gift to you for reading.